PANEL: DNA Surprises and Family Identity: A Guide to Preparation, Processing, and Family Storytelling
Laura Hedgecock, Jenny Hawran
Content
About this webinar
DNA tests can unravel the past, but unexpected results have profound impacts on the living. Unexpected results upend individuals’ personal and cultural identities and reveal family secrets.
This panel discussion by Laura Hedgecock, Jenny Hawran and Sheridan Anderson, seeks to fill a current gap in genealogical education: how to compassionately support individuals navigating DNA surprises and those helping them through the journey.
Panelists offer guidance on preparing for the possibility of difficult results, navigating the discovery process, processing the disconnect from family narratives and traditions as well as deciding how, when, or whether to share their new story. For those helping someone else through testing and such discoveries, presenters provide a trauma-informed framework for communication, resources, and writing about their experiences.
These three panelists offer multi-faceted insight and competence to this topic: personal experience with NPE DNA results, therapy and family mediation background, competence with NPE advocacy and trauma-informed writing, and professional genealogy.
This recorded session will serve as an ongoing resource for the genealogy community, addressing a topic that affects thousands but is rarely discussed in educational settings.
Panelists include:- Laura Hedgecock
- Jenny Hawran
- Sheridan Anderson, MA, LPCC
About the speakers
Key points and insights
The modern era of genetic genealogy has transformed the way families understand their history, but it also carries the potential for life-altering discoveries. This insightful panel discussion, featuring experts in mental health, genealogy, and storytelling, dives deep into the "NPE" (Not Parent Expected) experience. By moving beyond the science of centimorgans and into the complex realm of human emotion, the webinar explores how unexpected DNA results can upend a person’s sense of self and their relationships with living relatives. Whether you are a hobbyist or a professional, understanding the ethical and psychological weight of these discoveries is essential for conducting compassionate research in a world where secrets can no longer stay hidden.
- The Power of Emotional Informed Consent: Before suggesting a DNA test, it is vital to move beyond technical logistics and discuss "emotional informed consent." Researchers should prepare individuals for the possibility that results might contradict long-held family narratives, ensuring they have a support system in place before the "spit hits the tube."
- Validation Over Minimization: Support for those facing a DNA surprise requires active validation rather than dismissive comfort. Common phrases like "nothing has changed" or "your dad is still your dad" can inadvertently minimize the trauma of identity loss; instead, being a "soft place to land" and respecting the individual's pace for processing is paramount.
- The Evolution of the Family Narrative: Storytelling is a powerful tool for reclamation and healing. An NPE discovery doesn't delete a person's past; rather, it requires a "tripod" approach to the family tree, where individuals learn to integrate their biological truths with their raised identities through journaling, private chapters, and evolving narratives.
To truly grasp the nuance of these delicate family dynamics and learn how to navigate them with professional integrity, viewing the full panel discussion is highly recommended. The session provides a rare, vulnerable look at the ripple effects of genetic secrets and offers practical strategies for managing the "identity trauma" that often follows. For those seeking structured guidance, the accompanying syllabus is a goldmine of information, featuring trauma-informed writing principles and a comprehensive list of advocacy organizations and support groups. Explore these additional resources to better equip yourself for the sensitive intersections of DNA and identity.
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Comments (48)
Great seminar—you all did an excellent job of teasing out the emotional issues and cognitive dissonance that follows a DNA surprise. At the age of 70, I discovered that my dad’s father was not his biological father. I was lucky that it only took me about three months to learn the identity of my biological grandfather, but it was a driven, almost frantic time. Everything you all talked about reflected my experiences dealing with family members and an altered narrative about my ethnic background. I am past the roughest parts but expect that I’ll be circling back through all the issues from time to time. It has been quite a ride!
Great webinar about a very sensitive topic! I learned at 53 (I am 64 now) that my "father" was not my father. Due to emotional and psychological abuse by my believed paternal side thoughout my childhood and into adulthood, I was actually ecstatic to find out that my "father" was not my father. However, the flip side to that was the anger that has not subsided (only grown over the years) by the betrayal I felt towards my mother, who could have ended the sense of rejection I felt at the hands of people I had been shoehorned into a family with. She saw the abuse and could have ended it and chose not to. My mother died in 2006, so I was never able to confront her. I was able to have contact with my biological father for 4 years before he died, 7 years ago but I could never bring myself to meet him face to face for fear of similar rejection once he laid eyes on me. That said, I feel very fortunate to have at least had 4 years to learn about my true father and his family.
FANTASTIC webinar! Great discussion on the topic of NPE. It's a complicated subject with lots of different scenarios related to the NPE as well as the ethical issues surrounding disclosure. More discussions on this topic are needed. With more people testing, the likelihood of NPEs occurring increases.
Very important topic for genealogists. This was extremely well thought through by the members of the panel, and conveyed well the emotional tie-ins that are involved. This is not for casual off-the-cuff information drops. Very well done!!
Absolutely excellent. Laura, Jenny, and Sheridan are to be commended for putting together this panel. This issue doesn't affect me closely (yes at the 2C level and 3GGF level), but it's absolutely necessary for all genealogists to be aware of all these issues surrounding NPEs.
Wonderful webinar! Everyone using DNA should watch this webinar. It is full of insightful, honest, and touching experiences. Whether you have an NPE in your family or know someone who does, you need to watch this.
Very sensitive topic, great conversation.
Thank you so much. My surprise came at age 70. I was adopted at birth .When my mom passed away, I met my bio mom and 7 siblings at age 18. 5 years after her death I found out thru DNA test that her 1st husband was not my bio dad, and probably not my older brother's father. It has been 6 years now. I didn't realize how much i had buried inside, until today.
That is so much to process! I hope the panel was helpful. Take care of yourself and don't hesitate to reach out to any of us .